About RoriO

Hi, I’m Rori O’Hara, and I was a serial self-saboteur.

Kevin troubleshoots Nascar

Jack and crew troubleshooting in the pit. After successfully troubleshooting his life, Jack earned the title of Regional Champion Nascar Driver.

If you or someone you care about is struggling through life, the first thing I want to tell you is it’s not anyone’s fault! Dr. Srini Pillay, a Harvard Psychotherapist, says studies show we are hard-wired to sabotage ourselves and we must consciously remove this if we are to thrive.


Why do we sabotage ourselves? Two reasons: 1) To master disappointment. 2) Because we are hard-wired by our survival mechanism to be prepared for the worst.

The studies involved infants. You know how they throw things away from themselves only to become upset that they no longer have the thing they threw away? Dr. Pillay says we do this because of our desire to master disappointment. Yes, that’s right. He says, and I quote, “We would rather master disappointment than seek fulfillment.” He adds that we need to, instead, learn how to thrive.[1]

Goodbye my Jack.

Pouring Ryan’s ashes from an outcropping at a sacred Native American site where arrowheads are abundant. As a little boy, Ryan loved hunting for arrowheads.

I’m here today to tell you, as an ex-self-saboteur experienced in turning my own life around after watching one of my sons turn his life around–against all odds–how anyone can be successful.

I created this website to help you understand the one thing neuroscientists have found that can help anyone turn their life around from struggling to achieving good life outcomes. I know it can work for all ages and for anyone from any walk of life. You can learn how on the Help Starts Here page of this website.

But I’d like you to first read my story here on this page so you understand fully why I want to help all those who struggle as well as those who don’t exactly struggle but just want to find ways to make life easier and more fulfilling.

About my journey, good and bad…

One of my addicted sons, Jack, overrode his hard-wired self-sabotage and replaced it with a propensity to thrive. He became a regional champion as a Nascar

Life is like a box of chocolates

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.

driver. After all he had been through, I marveled that he had learned:

1) how to be happy;

2) how to succeed in life; and

3) how to maintain both his happiness and success.

Meanwhile, as Jack collected more top-place trophies than he could fit in his living room, I saw up close that, unchecked, self-sabotage can lead to death. I lost my son, Ryan, Jack’s younger brother, to a drug overdose. Ryan was 32 at the time.

My heart is still here.

My hand is under the outcropping where I poured Ryan’s ashes–and my heart. Sadly, Ryan never had the opportunity, as did Jack and I, to learn how to troubleshoot his life.

After Ryan’s death, I finally paid attention. I was heartbroken, tired of fighting depression, and wanted to understand what went wrong with all three of our lives so I could change mine. I had an idea of how Jack changed his life: He had discovered and lived his passion. I thought I had found mine, until the market crashed and I lost not only my job market, but all my investments that were supposed to make me a wealthy woman upon retirement. Without meaningful or lucrative work for several years, and one son dead from a drug overdose, I looked for what had gone wrong with our lives, and the specifics of how Jack had turned his around. Seeking answers may have added to my depression at first, but it got me on to my mission of helping myself so I could help others.

At a mental health meeting of parents of high school kids, it saddened me to learn that heroin was the “nouveau drug” in high schools across America. Among the internet reams on the topic of heroin, I learned that today, all kids are at risk for substance abuse, addiction, overdose, jail or prison, and death by overdose. I was shocked to read about the plethora of entire towns and cities that are at their wits’ end because of rampant drug abuse, addiction, and the resulting large numbers of tragic deaths among high school kids and young adults.

Finding happiness

Can happiness be learned? Yes, but we do need directions!

Kids are over-exposed and vulnerable via media and peer pressure, and these days, by the time they are about to go off to college or out on their own they have engaged in a lot of risky thinking and behaviors. This made me want to understand what neuroscientists know about how people create good life outcomes like Jack eventually did. I asked, how does anyone, especially kids and young people, learn to make good choices in the midst of so much potential bad around them? And in regard to Jack, I asked, “How did he turn it around?”

Like Dr. Pillay says, we must consciously learn to thrive!  

I learned what we human beings can do to latch on to life, as did my son Jack. I took action, and began to experience a better life myself. This allowed me to live my dream, my passion, of helping as many kids and young adults as possible learn how to latch on to life. I want today’s kids and young adults—who live in an exceedingly dangerous and tempting world—to have a chance to replace their in-born propensity for self-sabotage with thriving behaviors that bring them success in life. But it’s not going to work unless we adults understand it first, model it, and get it in the hands of those young people we love and care about. The sooner, the better; and the younger the kids are, the better!

Before we can help anyone else, we must first help ourselves.

We call it luck, but it's not.

Luck comes from having positive emotions, which light up your brain and open up your radar to opportunities. Once you have a happy brain, you are ready to take appropriate action to generate what appears to others to be luck!

I figured out, down to the art and science, how people learn to thrive and become successful. I developed some techniques based on what I learned and used to greatly improved my own life. I’m now dedicated to helping parents and educators learn what I learned so they can help their children and students. This works for anyone from any walk of life, including those who appear to be thriving as well as addicts. Jack is proof in regard to addicts.

I want you to learn the proven success strategies I learned before it’s too late for you or some kid, maybe even your own. If it seems like it’s already too late or you think that because they are an adult they are too old for you to help them, please take hope that from what I have witnessed; you are wrong! I know these techniques work because they worked for me, for Jack, and for study participants. Unfortunately, my son Ryan was never given the opportunity to learn these techniques. Please don’t give up hope and suffer the heartbreak I live with every day.

If you haven’t already seen my Help Starts Here page, there you will find information about how the brain works and gain insight as to how anyone can create better life outcomes–even against today’s terrible odds. Given our natural propensity for self-sabotage, combined with the societal pressures of today, children and young people must address the perfect storm for trouble every day. To avert the trouble out there, my Help Starts Here page provides information and the one proven technique you can use  to start improving your life immediately, and teach to those you love and care about.

Welcome to my website.

This website is dedicated to helping you and your loved ones. Please start taking advantage of the information on the Help Starts Here page. You’ll learn what neuroscientists recently discovered about the brain, and the basics of a technique I developed based on that information. It can help you and your loved ones immediately. And don’t miss my reviews of products that can also help you immediately. They are listed on the My Product Reviews page.

If you have any questions or feedback, please feel free to ask or comment in the right sidebar, and I will be happy to help you!

Best wishes for a wonderful life,

Founder of SuccessSystemsInstitute.com

  1. Source now unavailable, http://bit.ly/FREE-LIVEBrain-A-Thon. This was an advertisement for John Assaraf’s Brain-A-Thon course. Dr. Pillay has a book. Please see: Pillay, Srinivasan S. The Science behind the Law of Attraction: A Step-by-step Guide to Putting the Brain Science behind the Law of Attraction to Work for You. Cambridge, MA: NeuroBusiness Group, 2010. Print.